Wikifang talk:Telefang 1 Translation Patch/Text dump/Phrases

Suggestions

Most of these are excellent, so I almost feel like suggestions are superfluous (some of the puns were pretty epic, and yet still quite appropriate, which amazed me a little). But nonetheless, I still have some.

• "Arrival" sounds a little odd alone. Perhaps "Arriving...!" instead? It means the same, but might make a slightly better sentence.
• I'm not entirely sure "kus" sounds like a laugh myself, even though it is a weird sound effect to be adding to one's speech. But then again, so is "kaba". XD

It may just have been a cooler way to take a sound from his name than "nis" in Japanese.

• Licorice's phrase is just a normally polite request said in a slightly commanding tone (maybe a tad disdainful?). It's hard to think of a good way to express the right tone and still say close to the same thing; perhaps "Would you hurry it up?".
• For Denfare I'd suggest "Okay, okay." It kind of seems like he's supposed to say more than one word, and he isn't super-enthusiastic.
• For Gonum's phrase, I'd suggest something more like "Ehehehe, I'll finish you off!", considering the meaning of yattsukeru.
• "Let's overdo it" sounds a little... odd. I don't know, perhaps "Let's make it a smash!" seeing as how he used a sound effect?

— TAKUMI 巧 (talk) 00:08, 20 June 2011 (MDT)

Cool, glad you like it. ^^ There's only so many ways you can say "I've arrived" and "let's go" in english, but I think it turned out pretty well.

• Arrival: it just says "kenzan!" (appears!) which sounds kind of weird on it's own, so I wanted to leave it like that in english. XD
• Kusu: it definitely comes from the name (rikunisu), but it also sounds like a "pfft" or "heh" or *snort* sort of laugh. XD I don't have any examples handy, but I've seen it plenty of times when reading manga...*nod*
• Licorice: I wasn't sure about this one, but it's hard to think of something that's short and still matches, yeah. XD I changed it to "hey, let's go!" which seems a bit better.
• Denfare: I think the "hai hai!" sounds more enthusiatic than annoyed...XD I think it's a general "yeah, okay, mhm!" like he's talking on the phone. *nod*
• Gonum: I changed the yattsukeru to "I'll get you", since that's how I translated it throughout... "I'll finish you off" is a bit too long.
• Overdo it: I figured the don was more like from "dondon", but he definitely has some funky accent going on, so I think it's fine if it sounds weird. XD

~ Kimbles 10:49, 20 June 2011 (MDT)