Wikifang talk:Telefang 1 Translation Patch/Text dump/120000

Suggestions

I realise some of these things may be due to character limits, line breaks, or the like, in which case you can disregard them, but here are a few little suggestions I had on skimming through this.

• "You can evolve your Denjuu through "Experiments" here."
• "Perhaps... it's because of that D-Shot we picked up."
• In Nejiro's line, I think he describes the party using/exploiting Netaro rather than just beating him up, although he does clarify it in a later line as is, so it doesn't need changing.
• "I've been beaten" might sound better than "I was beaten", unless that'd create weird line breaks.
• "Ahh, thank you."
• "The Antenna Tree key I was entrusted with was stolen, man!" (the extra "that" seemed too formal compared with the rest of his dialogue.)

— TAKUMI 巧 (talk) 15:51, 19 June 2011 (MDT)